Grief at Work: The downside of “bright siding.”

“Well, look on the bright side. Now you have an angel watching over you.” More than 13 years ago a work colleague said that to me a few weeks after my brother died. They meant no harm. It was a response to my obvious distress. As humans, we often struggle in these emotional conversations – even more so when they occur at work – and we try to soothe the “unsoothable” with words.

And so it goes now as millions are grieving. Some of us will or have already lost family members. Others have seen their careers disappear in a matter of days. Our finances. Our health. Our futures. Our freedom. All of these are losses.  The truth is, we just can’t immediately “bright side” what are deeply life altering experiences.

Grief has its own timetable and each of us will grieve in our own way. And for those who are still working, this is “grief in the workplace” on a massive scale. 

Yes, there will be something known as post traumatic growth – for some. And yes, good things will come. But that doesn’t mean we won’t grieve for what and who has been lost. And sadness is part of that.

I’m thinking we’ll all need to develop a new skill. “Connecting without carrying” someone else’s emotional load. For sure, we’ll need to demonstrate Brene Brown empathy. But this other skill – something psychologists and therapists get lots of training in – will be needed too. There are and will be, so many of us grieving.